Fulham 2-1 Arsenal: Crappy new year

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Mikel Arteta described yesterday’s game as Arsenal’s worst performance of the season, and even if he wasn’t too hungover to argue with him, he wouldn’t. It would be stupid.

Despite a bright start and Bukayo Saka’s early goal after Gabriel Martinelli’s shot was saved, Arsenal were dismal. Individually, collectively, it’s just not good enough. If I want to watch men use their sports ball very, very slowly, I will become a bowling fanatic.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Slow pass. Tap. Tap. Tap. Slow pass. See an opportunity for a quick pass, ignore it. Tap. Tap. Tap. Slow pass. Slow pass. See an opportunity for a quick pass, ignore it. Tap. Tap. Tap. Slow pass.

Argh. It’s like a kind of discomfort.

“Doctor, please help me, my balls are slow.”

I’ve lamented Oleksandr Zinchenko’s propensity to do this in the last two games, but it’s not just him. Players like Declan Rice and William Saliba were in it yesterday, and the way it impacts the game is that it allows a team like Fulham to organize too easily, to the point where the Shirley Bassey lad was pirouetting at will. You can’t let that happen.

To be fair, I think Fulham played quite well while we were well under par. Bernd Leno was basically a spectator. The tie came from a good play where we were 3% behind in terms of defense, but that’s all it takes. The goal that turned out to be the winner was a bit lucky in terms of how it came to them in the box after a corner, but did we defend it as well as we could? I do not think.

The manager made changes, but this was equivalent to coming home and seeing the house on fire and then pouring a lot of gasoline on it. The change to the bottom three made us even more ineffective. Everything was too narrow. Without the full-backs we couldn’t get the ball out and it was easy for Fulham to defend. Once they marked the wide players and blocked those routes, our play had nothing to do with it. We were like the big fucking wolves, huffing and puffing and not being able to knock anything down because we had football emphysema.

When Gabriel Jesús comes in and his best contribution is to defend bravely in the right back position, something has gone very wrong. Just like the West Ham game, you felt like we could have been there until midnight and not scored. The timing of our defensive and offensive form falling off a cliff is far from ideal, and losing two in a row during the busy festive schedule seems quite damaging.

Afterwards, a rather crestfallen Mikel Arteta said:

Painful, that’s how I would sum it up. We had the opportunity to be first after 20 games with the consistency that we have shown, and we have not managed to do it well enough to earn the right to win the game. Three days ago we lost a game we deserved to win, but today was a very different story.

We weren’t good enough, we just weren’t good enough in possession: we gave away so many balls, we didn’t have enough pace, enough purpose, enough threat, and defensively we were second best. We couldn’t control them directly, it was very easy for them to win that first or second ball and have the opportunity to run; We conceded exactly two goals like we did against West Ham, and if you do that in this league it becomes really difficult to win.

Like I said, even if I wanted to discuss this, I couldn’t. It was a really terrible performance, without any positive points. No player was even close to his best, and many were far from that level. When that happens in the Premier League, you lose. Simple as that.

The only thing I would say this morning is that every team has a little bump during the season and we have to make sure that’s ours. Past. There’s an FA Cup game against Liverpool at the weekend, then a break and some warm weather training (I think), after which we play Crystal Palace. Honestly, it’s a good time for us to have a chance to reset, regroup, work on what went wrong, and start again. What else can we do?

This was a depressing way to end 2023, but let’s hope we can make 2024 much better. Speaking of which, I would like to wish everyone a happy, healthy, successful and peaceful new year. Thank you for being with us at all times.

I need coffee. I need some kind of sandwich. And then I’ll be ready to record an Arsecast Extra with James in a while.

Until then.

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